Your Real Self

Masterson(1998) has proposed several characteristics that describe a real self. After each of the characteristics that are listed below, write a short description of how you meet this capacity now and what you might do to fulfill it even further.

1. I have the capacity to experience deeply a wide range of feelings including joy, and excitement in a spontaneous way.


2. I have the capacity to expect that I will get the things to which I am appropriately entitled.


3. I have the capacity to be assertive in expressing my wishes, dreams, and goals once I have identified those that are appropriate to my life.


4. I have a good sense of self – esteem because I have coped with my traumatic experiences in a positive, creative way.



5. I am able to soothe my own feelings, even when they are painful, without wallowing in misery.



6. I am able to make and stick with commitments, in spite of obstacles and setbacks.


7. I am able to be creative in seeking new ways to solve my problems.


8. I am able to have intimate relationships with others without being overcome with anxiety or if anxiety comes up, I have the ability to self soothe.


9. I have the capacity to be alone with myself without feeling abandoned or despairing without having to fill up with my life with meaningless activity or bad relationships.


10. I have a core self that persists through time and I am aware of that core and who I am.


11. I have the capacity to develop or maintain the other capacities listed above.


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